Live your youth to the fullest, but plant your memories with care!

There many who refer to me affectionately :) as ‘old’. The tag is a misnomer: a reference more to my frequent forays into the past, and the experiences picked up thereon, than to my age. I even got an offer once to write using the alias, ‘Buddhiman’, which I politely refused. I am far from wise, and I commit more mistakes than the average person. But being more of a ‘cup half full’ type of person, I have learnt valuable lessons from those mistakes and missteps. Two things that I have learnt in particular from my past are: life is the greatest teacher one can have, and memories can be the best of allies and the worst of foes.

Youth can be a fleeting moment or a lifetime. I have been a ‘Bob Dylan’ fanatic for long, but it is only now that I can safely say that I understand and feel, “Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now (<a href=”http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/backpages.html”>My Back Pages – Bob Dylan</a>).” Age has added on a lot many physical constraints, but I feel refreshingly young to be rid of the emotional and other baggage that piled on with the onset of adolescence and lasted till the wee days of my 20s. I watched mutely as my youth overtook me and left me behind, weighed down by attitude, mindset and expectations. I was honest with everyone save my self.

Youth is a miracle, and it has many wonders. We often take its biggest wonder for granted: friends. It is great if one can be a friend as well to one’s love, but it is sad when the latter rear its fangs on the former and contaminates the bond. A lucky few succeed in making love last for a lifetime, but for most folks, friends are forever while love may be momentary. Friends are forever says it all, but to be more explicit, we can add ‘through thick and thin’. And, friends cannot be bought: if you think you can, there always is someone offering a premium. There is no real insurance for the future, but it is wise to invest on good and loyal friends. People fall in love and out it but friendship carries on.

Another wonder of youth is the feeling of being in love and giving in. But don’t drown in it so deep that you surface only to realize that your best days have passed you by. Love at first sight does happen, but it can pass off as easily as it seeps in. Heartaches hurt more than toothaches, and the hurt lingers on, often for life. People may dispute this, but you fall in love many times and yet you fall in love only once – something hard to explain, easier felt. When marriages fail, love can be no exception, but there are some that last, so, ‘believe’ in that rare chance. Love hurts and is often hard, but it is bliss while it lasts.

As a line in Pink Floyd’s <a href=”http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/pink+floyd/free+four_20108669.html”> Free Four </a> goes, ‘The memories of a man in his old age, are the deeds of a man in his prime’, with every action in our youth, we sow a memory for the future. While it will be an utter waste not to live life to the fullest while we are young, it will be a nightmare to have our memories stalking us the remainder of our lives through out indiscretions.

<b>Live your youth to the fullest, but plant your memories with care!</b>

Casteaway

Any publicity is said to be good publicity, and likewise in a blog, any comment is a welcome one. I thus took this one in with a pinch of salt, ‘Hey, VIKASH PRADHAN.. STOP ACTING>> YOU R NOT A NEPALI>> AND DONT TRY TO ACT LIKE ONE. I was a little bothered initially, but filling in a school admission form proved therapeutic, and I realized that the comment was too trivial to lose sleep over. My nationality is an issue, but the questions of caste and religion that haunt many Nepalis even in this modern age easily overshadow it. <!--more--><br />

I never knew that so much of details was necessary to get a child admitted in Class II:  name, address, height, weight… and even ‘caste’ and religion. I haven’t heard of segregated classes, but the fact that caste and religion featured in the admission, I wonder if it does have some bearing in the performance or treatment meted out to a student? John Lennon’s utopian dream as laid down in Imagine maybe a very distant reality, but when social and religious barriers are finally beginning to breakdown, why and wherefore would a school insist in knowing a child’s caste?

Having grown up in Gangtok, I know how deep communal feelings run, but I consider myself lucky to have never faced any stigma based on the colour of my skin, my race or religion. Over the years I have however gained enough insight on our social structure to genuinely feel for those who have to live with the stigma of being born in a caste deemed inferior by many. During an interview with a prominent lawyer and social activist, Yash Kumar’s <I> Mailey choyeko pani chaldaina…</i> came up as one facet of popular music, that was highlighting social issues and could bring some necessary changes in the future. This particular track, as I heard in Darjeeling, was a huge hit in many areas of Doars and the neighbouring plains. I can only understand why: it maybe no landmark like Ambar Gurung’s <I>Nau lakhey tara</I> but it epitomizes perfectly the plight of the people segregated by, and their status defined by ‘water’. Fresh out of a historic movement that has changed political horizons, many may dream of a ‘New Nepal’, but I guess all those dreams will come to naught if we fail to wash away the barriers of caste and religion from our system, and scratch similar boxes from our forms.

Quite big things for me to utter, but having done that, a return to my nationality: I have never claimed or claim to be Nepali, though I feel as Nepali as I guess Adrian, Feroze or even Nirakar feel when they sing, <i>Yo mann ta mero Nepali ho…</i> Nepal has been very accommodating and I am grateful for many reasons, but I am content being a Gorkha (a reaffirmation of why the Nepali diaspora in India need to insist on the Gorkha label and not ‘Nepali’) and rather happy with my <I>prabasi</I> status unlike many of my peers who are Nepali in the true or the false sense of it. I know many people who are very reluctant to talk about their origins, I would like to distance myself from that lot.

On a positive note, the comment has been a wake up call: a reminder that I may be getting just a bit too Nepali. A call to make amends before <I>ddhoka</I> wipes out <I>dailo</I> and <I>mech</> replaces <I>chauki</I> from my vocabulary.

<b>I’d rather be a sinner than to repent if ‘nationality is my only sin’ </b> – a la Louis Armstrong.


<b>Black and Blue</b>, Louis Armstrong

Cold empty bed springs hurt my headFeels like ole ned wished I was deadWhat did I do to be so black and blueEven the mouse ran from my houseThey laugh at you and all that you doWhat did I do to be so black and blueI'm white inside but, that don't help my caseThat's life can’t hide what is in my faceHow would it end ain't got a friendMy only sin is in my skinWhat did I do to be so black and blueHow would it end I ain't got a friendMy only sin is in my skinWhat did I do to be so black and blue

Second Take

I seldom watch NTV, but being stuck indoors due to rain on a recent trip to Daman, I was forced to a liberal dose of it. I don’t have much to say about the fare except for an anti-piracy ad issued by the association of record producers. When piracy makes a big dent on the multi-billion dollar movie and music industry in the west, the extent of its impact on our fledgling audio industry can only be imagined. Music is yet to become a mainstream career, but the industry has seen its share of success stories, and the future promises better and bigger things. Piracy is a major hurdle on the way, but I see the intrinsic flaws more than the external hurdles holding the industry back.

Piracy does affect the revenue from music sales adversely, and I am no advocate of piracy, but more than the impact on the sales due to music piracy, I see the music industry suffering more from piracy of ideas and concepts. The ‘template mindset’ has sounded the death knell for creativity in most areas here. From music to ads to movies, even before we ink the drawing board, we have presets in mind – templates of the finished product picked up from elsewhere. I have no qualms about adapting a style or a genre, but I simply detest clones. I can happily listen to GP belting out their attitude on ‘Ma Yesto Chu’ but I blow my top every time Mystic comes with their clone of Blue’s One Love. I only wonder why? Are we so pathetic and sad? I can understand Mystic coming up with a clone, but how can any music producer agree to produce such trash? Don’t our TV and radio stations have any form of quality control for their programs to be playing those tracks and videos on air? Imagine my surprise at seeing a Nepali music video on Channel Nepal, which featured video footage ripped straight from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, not in, parts but verbatim. Now I wonder who is doing more harm to Nepali music – the pirate or the producer and the media?

Technology can be empowering, and it can help a singer sing better. Our problem lies in thinking that technology can make a singer out of just anybody. The Nepali music industry is growing bigger and our TV channels and Radio stations are making stars of ordinary folk on almost a daily basis. Nepali music sells like never before, but is the future really bright? Our record producers, TV channels, Radio stations and the other so called guardians of Nepali music – are they really in a bid to save Nepali music or is it only a effort to save their pecuniary interests? Just how many singers and musicians that have come up in the past decade can we rate as truly talented? The Uglyz sell, but I would pay to hear the vocalist utter a single ‘clear’ line without the video hiding his flaws. Sabin Rai is hot, but why would I pay to hear a Bryan Adams clone sing in Nepali? If I want good Nepali music I would rather depend on Deep Shrestha who sings like himself. Likewise, if I want to hear Bryan Adams, would I need a clone who is not even half as good?

I have often been told to be nationalistic and ‘to be Nepali and support Nepali’. I do agree to a certain extent to Nepalis helping Nepalis – but we have to stop supporting mediocrity driven by emotional and nationalistic attachments. Nepali music in its current state is at best mediocre, and it is not piracy to blame for its sordid state. As producers, our producers are doing a disservice to Nepali music by producing trash, and so our channels by playing trash, and each one of us by buying trash.

Do not pirate Nepali music, but stop buying and accepting trash that gets made in the name of music.

Shooting Star

I saw a shooting star last night. As it is said, you wish upon a shooting star: experience though stopped me from wishing anything new. Wishes thus made seldom come true, but the moments do leave indelible marks in one's memory to be recalled and wished upon again, with each fresh encounter. As a line from Dylan's Shooting Star goes, 'seen a shooting star tonight, and I thought of me', I recalled a line I wrote many years ago for someone dear, who then was away in a distant city. The physical distance was hard to bear, but I found solace looking at the starlit sky above: I felt a connection to her through the sky we both were under and the air that we shared.

It has been a promising start so far, but driven by habit I now take an unromantic turn. I saw a shooting star last night and I thought of me, her, a wish made on one cold and dark December night, and I thought of polar bears and Mt. Kilimanjaro. When Wilma ravaged parts of the United States, I was struck right here in Nepal: our webserver being based in the U.S., our site was down for almost a week. The polar ice-caps were nothing more than just chapters in our geography textbook when I was in school. Now I find myself much nearer to it than I ever was - the sweat sticking to my t-shirt as I type is a grim reminder of the drastic climate change that has occured in the last few years, and the heat that makes me sweat is the same that is slowly melting the ice in the poles away.

The world has shrunk, and geographical barriers no longer hold significance. Communication is a breeze and travel getting shorter and faster. I am now as much a world citizen as of the place I am in, and thus bear the same responsibilities towards earth and the continutiy of life as we know it. As experts say, the average weight of polar bears has almost halved in the last century, and by 2020, Mt. Kilimanjaro will bid adieu to its snow cap. Tucked a world away in Nepal, I can brush aside the possibility as a cost of development and consider myself immune, or I can wonder when the bell will toll for us. We are already experiencing the affects of climate changes first hand, so the wait is not long for sure.

While 'dead' is 'as a dodo' for most of us, it already is 'as a thylacine' and may well be 'as a tiger', 'a polar bear', or even 'a cheetah' for our children. A meteor strike is said to have wiped out the dinosaurs, but humans through their ingenuity may well survive one. We may even live through a nuclear holocaust but can we survive human progress?